Two childhood friends sit on the sofa during summer vacation.
“So, how’s that videogame writing thing going?”
“Oh. Going all right, dude. I’m supposed to be doing a guest review for our pals over at Armless Octopus. They cover downloadable games.”
“Oh, yeah? What game are you reviewing?”
“Akane the Kunoichi on Xbox Live Indie Games.”
“What’s a kunoichi?”
“I think a kunoichi is a female ninja or something. It’s a really cool game, actually.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s a 2D side-scrolling action game — pretty old school. Remember when we used to take turns with lives on Super Ghouls and Ghosts on Super Nintendo?”
“Yeah! I remember that! Can you double-jump?”
“No. But you can grab onto walls.”
“Oh! Like Ninja Gaiden!”
“Exactly. But like Ninja Gaiden 1. You can only jump off the walls. No climbing.”
“Man, those were some good times. Remember when games used to be simple like that? I mean, I like to jump onto Call of Duty once a week and shoot around. That’s fun. But the old days were nice too.”
“They were. And I think that’s what I really like about Akane the Kunoichi. It really took me back. I mean, some of the platforming sequences are a lot like the ones we’re familiar with from when we were growing up.”
“Example?”
“Well, there are levels with slippery floors. Some levels even have flowing rivers on the floor which act like conveyor belts. You know. That kind of stuff.”
“Is it hard?”
“Not really. The platforming is all very — how do I say this? — reasonable. Nothing crazy like that Super Ghouls and Ghosts level where you’re in that monster’s stomach and the level spins around.”
“Oh my God, dude. That level was brutal!”
“Yeah. But there are three kimonos to collect in each level; so, if you really want a challenge, you can go after those. I only got some of them. There were still some platforming segments that got a little dicey.”
“How is the fighting?”
“It’s okay. It kind of takes a backseat to the platforming, though. You have an unlimited number of knives that you can throw, and they can be upgraded to spread like in Contra.”
“Did you know the ‘S’ in Contra actually stood for ‘Shotgun’?”
“Hm. I had no idea. You sure? I’ll have to look that up sometime. But anyway, yeah. It was more about killing ninjas that got in the way of your platforming. You’ve also got magic spells that let you clear the screen by throwing knives in every direction or making knives rain from the sky.”
“Did you say Akane was a girl?”
“Oh, yeah. That’s another cool little thing about the game. You play as a female ninja who is in love with this dude. In the prologue, the villainess gets her henchmen to kidnap this guy, and you’re now trying to save him. It’s kind of like…”
“… like the beginning of Double Dragon.”
“Yup. So, I thought that was a nice, progressive note there — some role reversal.”
“How are the bosses?”
“That might be my only gripe with the game. Some of the bosses were too easy, but I’m not sure.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I died once or twice at each boss. But once I figured out their pattern, it was pretty easy. Actually, I lied. My second gripe would be the loading times. Every time I died, I was taken back to the level select screen. That got kind of annoying, so I guess I’m thankful the bosses weren’t ridiculously hard.”
“You said it was an old school game. I think that’s what old school gaming was about: learning patterns and stuff.”
“Yeah. That’s actually a pretty good point! I was worried because I wasn’t sure how I was going to go about explaining that in my review. Dying at a boss once or twice to figure out its pattern seems like a decent sacrifice.”
“In this day in age? Totally. No one’s interested in a hard-ass game like the original TMNT. We’re fancy people with things to do!”
“That’s right!”
(laughs)
“So how much is the game?”
“80 Microsoft Points.”
“What’s that come out to?”
“A dollar.”
“Wow. Seriously? I might have to go download that.”
“Dude. Do it. It’s a really great game. At a dollar, you can’t really go wrong. I finished it in about an hour and a half, and I loved it. So at a dollar, I’d say I got a pretty nice morsel of gaming out of it.”
“What’s it called again?”
“Akane the Kunoichi — developed by Haruneko.”
“Got it. I’m looking forward to going back to an SNES-style game without having to dig up my system. So what are you going to do about that review you have to write?”
“I’m not sure yet. I’ll figure something out. The real question is ‘what do you want to do about lunch?’”
“I think I’m in the mood for sushi…”
End Scene.
Rating: 
Akane the Kunoichi was purchased for $1. You can download a free demo on the Xbox Live Marketplace. You can read more articles by Ryan Gan at SideQuesting.com
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